Horseradish marmalade

The droplets of rain on the window is welcomed, as no matter how much time I have in tending plants I love, sometimes time& specification of priorities to much delayed tasks force me to leave their care to the hands of nature. One of my first “published” English poem done in a creative writing class was about a gardener and his/her affairs of devotion and the energy of connecting to magical realms we have taken for granted, or even worse, trivialised. I was married back then, and his reaction to my poem told me something so evident to an eventual ending of the marriage as if the desire to reach light finally bud through the soil. He was correcting the grammar and structure of my poem lol, and you may wonder why would that be enough of a reason to part from a vow. Bear in mind there were far more complicated issues than mere few words, but this was one of most fundamental understanding in what it feels like when someone you share a life with is about the formalities you can provide as the weaker sex, nothing about understanding you.

As a woman of the blood& creations of life, you cannot afford to waste your energies away to those who are harvesting you like you are their luxury items, dreams of desires, muses in their loneliest hours. Man had not had a good education in terms that each was either spoiled, abandoned, or a combinations of both in different areas by one’s own mother. The way we accept certain attitude and behaviour from our husbands maybe preinstalled by the traditions of last generation, but it’s one’s own self care and responsibility to decide if that’s good enough to be a union of transformative forces in life. Unfortunately our society brought us to the material, physical aspects of what love must look, and seem like. The most important aspect in how it feels to us, often lost in the lack of words, or evidences to transcribe a solid understanding how you know when someone will compress your soul to feed their own, and tell you it’s your fault.

I was frozen with his response, not because he corrected my grammar, structure of sentences, or the patronising comment. I was faced with a reality that this man has no ability to co-create with me, as he will see any progress, independence, and individuality a threat to his own manhood, and security. His inability to witness and share the beauty I have brought into our moment together was itself a feeling of deep wonder, creativity, and passion for everything I don’t yet understand. I felt his fear in my wondering away from my roles as his little pretty china, house keeper, mother of his children, although those feeling were expressed as rational critics to a “poem”, he disacknowledged the feeling of such creativity to slam me back into the role as his wife. Which portraits a future where the spirit has to be squashed, to support the ego, and it’s need for superiority, even at the cost of destroying one’s own substance from the power itself.

Am I saying if a man does not understand his wife’s poem is doomed? No, it’s not the understanding, but the willingness to comprehend what’s welling up in the dark of her psyche, since each woman is likely biophysically tethered into the water from bodies of Earth, she will feel, and see into things that don’t need confirmations of logic, no matter how crazy may you be gaslighting a woman in her ability to sense, as the witch-hunts still exist, hand in hand with the oversexed programming of common men, predictively programme them to insult those who have came to aid and flourish as expansions. The way behave towards the normality of exploiting pornography now, is linked to how we accepted policies, and mandates that make little sense. Once you are able to hold an artificial space for one hook on your weakness, there will be more to come. In a subtle, and secretive way, your scared forces now rig up playgrounds for demonic entities that seek possessions of your legacies, take over your ego and master an artful destruction of your own perfection.

The powerbrokers do not want powerful unions that can pierce through the vail of collective suffering. We are their food sources don’t you ken? Our service, obedience, and hypnotic acceptances of their grandeur feed their existence to nearly Godhood that do not play by rules. They will have their own priestesses, but you must turn your own into a whore, so your petty powerlessness will be reflected in your dismissal, humiliation, and disrespect towards that which bear you unlimited potential. This is not a sure ticket however, as the majority of men on earth are far wiser, and intuitive than the constructed traps. So their programming of the feminine psyche will become the ultimate puppet show where you can understand just how intricate it is that psyops can be preprogramed to the detriment of mass. They induct women into the realms of claiming self-worth from her sexuality, physical beauty, and ability to charm with superficial attributes. She will be rewarded, as she will be desired, pursued, even if she knows innately, these men do not want who she really is, but what she appears to be, or what pleasure she may give. She than trap herself into the equivalence of a man’s success in love come with what he possess.

Fortunately, majority of successful couples are able to grow out of such traps by communicating, and evolve one another on such delicate deceptions that we internalised through media and entertainments we love. These couples are light houses that example the beauty of partnership and devotion to unions of spirits on earth, the good that came from such creation multiplies into the strength of their growth into realms beyond. Our innate perfection has always been under attack, or positively speaking, challenged, in ways beyond any rational understanding or the combinations of all that we understand. We have choices in given all that we already are into instructions or prompts of what you ought to be, or we follow that curiosity, inquisitiveness and dedication to seek something a little bit further into unknown. Love is one of the most mis-sold products in our 4D concepts about what it is. Every perfume advertisement we use to love was a ritual, an incantation for us to embody the possession of an archetype if we look at the elaborated sophistication with conscious mind. To understand we are thrown into trances and fantasies from one to another, travelling meanings of our lively physicality shaping the world we receive is a good start for understanding why things don’t always happen to us, we invite them subconsciously, or unconsciously.

The trouble of being educated into material men who’re only receptive to what can be proven with evidences is that the providing of such evidences may also mean travel closer to all that which was already prophesied as destruction if we stick around to do the scientific aspect of documentation, when all the information are already floating around in the ether if our capacity to link and frame all information with agile comprehension, the gut brain as the science love to have a say about everything they use to burn witches for, so the power of church can be retained within the church, by a few ridiculous men who possess little ability, or magical force, to dream into cosmos. What have always been in the bone marrows of our existence was executed, and burnt by fearful imaginations for the wicked hearts projected outwards as a mix of selfish containment, and false crusades. The safe place for you as a women, is in the kitchen, nursery, and men’s beds. This is still practised by so many religions, policies, and tribes… the corruption of our ability to unite with the infinite, is the most lucrative trade throughout the history. Although those constructs cannot bane it’s entry to those who knew better, they will try their best to destroy those messengers.

As a long way of explaining what my insight was when my formlessness was criticised, it’s a short way to call for the awareness in us, to look into all that we regarded as the most mundane. We circuit ourselves in the thoughts of deliberate men, we also circuit in the minds of prosperous wonders that need no qualifications from the previous thought since the nature of our understanding is expansive, and free flowing as the light itself. Therefor it will be our own commitment and choice, if we uphold anything that no longer works because it’s the supposing way. The cages of the minds are far more detrimental than cages of our bodies, as bodies can be shredded, yet as we transit from our minds into the cosmic unknown, our soul can be chained to beliefs that offer little console and evolution. The illogical need that we need to be affirmed, and approved by those forces that have no personal interest, intent, or desire to travel further than what they can acquire from us, has been the most dreadful traditions that kept us in constant loops of dogma we surrendered ourselves to without even asking why. Things change fast, if one commits to find his/her own gravities beyond all that which was meant to be references, with a core understanding, that all consequences will be the honour of their own burden.

The independence, self-reliance was already in my blood before the marriage thanks to my lineage from strong grandmother who has a loving husband, and my mother who will walk through the ashes and sail her own destiny as a true phoenix born, the romanticising of the relationship was sanded down by gritty reality rough enough to lead me back into internal dialogues where I have mastered my own metaphorical ufo since I developed the enjoyment of digesting shapes and forms of all types of thoughts. This otherness is not the worse fate one can endure, especially those who have grew up in fondness of their own company. The way I wear the thinking I came across is equivalent to the way women suppose to arrange themselves in garments, I find the thrill in moving through invisible spaces when my body is obligated to it’s localities. That allows me to understand the nature of our thoughts aren’t fixed, hence the reality created by thoughts are also fluid, but the way we gather them as garments, and possessions for our identity is identical to the material concepts of a self, except the runways of our thoughts aren’t always observed clearly even to ourselves, and what we temporarily claimed as our own if often not made and measured to our own soul. A cast over, a pass on from the magazine, news, films, and some reality talk shows. The ego has the marvellous skill of adapting the desired identity through observations that may be carefully presented as fashionable, and hook, line, and sinker we go one after another, became mental clones of one another, closely represented by our attires for fashion. We have no full control of our own mental body, unless we grow strong flavours to what we enjoy as thoughts, as closely linked to our own invisible signature as we can gather. It’s always an almost that we find something our abstract mind can say: Ahh this is me!! Before we became something else entirely, with arrivals of new data.

The way revolutions happen within ourselves are not always obvious, observable, or examinable. We morph and shift with the focus of our attentiveness, in a torsion of inwardly outward& outwardly inward fashion, who we really are in a constant state of self invention to ourselves. If we are not giving birth to ourselves, then it will be the material world giving definition to what we think we are. In our loyalty and commitments in playing those roles, we find ourselves locked into characters, expectations, and obligations of who we now agree as “I am”. This slow crawling in between the potentiality, and casts for a story we don’t necessarily feel akin to… is often the waiting seats of life we occupy as if spares of the limited positions sculpted for some. The torment we experience, is often in the dispositions of where our mentalities fit in with our identity, the feeling of dissatisfaction often stirred by our inabilities to truly turn ourselves inside out and be what it is until it no longer is. The way collective minds move and vulture on what was is where science want our minds to be, feasting on the vomits of the previous thoughts, previous desires, previous morals as if our own. Once you’ve built yourself on someone else’s ideas in who you are… they own you. Your job will be protecting their thinking as their minions, defending something you have got your credits from… or you can step back, and throw them all away. Be nothing. Be no one’s bitch, not even your own. That sounds like a horrible idea, but it’s kinda like a mental practise, ufo training if you like. Our minds are the most advanced computers, and no amount of engineering can match that infinity. Unless a great majority shut their own down for other agendas that they don’t necessary understand themselves, except being the tools to be used. These are low gigabits no matter how powerful, there’s a lot more to the cosmic intelligence that we will deny ourselves by thinking we know which are the three directions we have to choose, when everyway gets there. Our identity, is an obstacle to the heart that fuse with the electric universe, and the currencies that is beyond ourselves.

Rain, like the ocean, and clouds, condensed with all of our emotions and debris, generous in expression, and nutrients. It carries the coronavirus from city to city, wash our hairs and soak into our vegetables. We are beings made of bacterial itself, and we believe strange seances that simulate the retarded computers into a backwards culture where the voodoo priest don’t cast their magic in a far away village somewhere with chicken feet, their magic is done cinematically, heavy campaigns and expansive advertisements. Since we believed science like the religious with the gospels… anything you say behind the word of experts, scientists kick off the spells with ripples so effective, that witchcrafts no longer was a thing because it’s now called science. Ha. It is of course, because you will prove them right with your personal conviction, our minds activated to experience life through tinted, viral lenses. The combination of fear, and solution… Voila! Delicious combination of power. That’s ok… we will carry on play this game alright. Lets keep pretending this made believe death threat is not made believe. Lets help them create a world where Sky will be called rhino arse, and your eyes are now nipples. How about it? That can be fun too I guess. Lets how technologically power thirsty the political simulators are, creating a whole industry out of our miseries and turn our good people into accomplices. Maybe we can enjoy a evil world, since we advocate their baseless claims for caring for our wellbeing whilst muffle our kids and experiment on elderly until they die in loneliness. Such useless good people we are, we are even timid in the faces of evil invading our current minds after studied second world war, because they also came in medicines and advertisements? Lets pretend our human rights away, jab ourselves silly with every new nanotech they accomplish, since you guys want it too. Maybe it can be fun, that one day we will be glad that at least we have a vaccine passport, if nothing else. Not even our own children… because woops… we gave our rights away as their legal guardians, since we agreed that authorities can do whatever they want under the threats of whatever was carried by air…

I guess that can’t be too bad in a way… all you millionaires and savers might just have to get use to the green economy that 4th industrial revolution/ spiritual world war 3 is currently patching together for a very special communist status that you will enjoy because once you’re hooked into the nanointerface, you think what they want you think… not that much different for the current compliers anyway. Maybe you just have to grief for what you thought you have worked for all your life for, and children… since the prophet Kahlil Gibran stated it so beautifully;

your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you…

Maybe we can romanticise this into the new ideology we don’t choose to have a decisions about? Maybe this is a great opportunity for us to practice the zen lifestyle we have always wanted, you will have nothing,(except your vaccine passport, possibility whatever we tag you on too) and you will be happy. Just remember this is a business plan far too precious for the powerbrokers to pass, and if you didn’t get yourself a seat in the front roll… it’s unlikely that you will get the better end of the stick when the drone come for your assets. I guess it’ll be terrible, if we had to get there to realise now we have the scientific prove that it’s happening.

Maybe that will do good to us all in the long wrong, maybe western society can grow humble in experiences of being preyed upon by our own coloniser demigods. So we can have a real understanding, and compassion in what it is really like, to really not have a choice, not because we don’t think enough to have one. The long reverse engineering of seemingly free civilisation into tantalian presented by our freest liberators… they can’t wait to have you tagged into system digitally and behave exactly the way they want you to be. For the community standard… you can’t get any more creative than that when you spend all your time to be what others what you to be. It’s your turn to tell others how to be… if you want to be successful, famous, maybe wealthy… in binary terms. Digital puppet eras! Here we come.

… I got bored and sleepy contemplating the new world and it’s mass bypassing that will create itself in deformed humanity that our ancestors protested and defended from… to imagine their efforts wasted feels like such waste of a generation. But you never know, the power freaks might just love it too much to care that they’ve personally crafted a biotechnological prison for their own kids to suffer in eternity. The empty space stares right back at you… suddenly realised you might be talking to the cardboard boxes… you skip away, as you do when nobody is there after you knocked on the…box.

After some air and pottering about, my thinking thread has came back to me… so I will keep on pulling it a little longer. The part when the dark agendas gets double charge from the affirmativeness by both the instigators and the accusers, positive and negative electric field that reinforce the power instigators seeks. The strange magnetism of a evil villain that seem to draw the energy to themselves by being callous, and fearless seem to have being the worldwide appeal even just as a persona. Perhaps there’s a kind of liberation in the fall towards the darkness that we don’t yet fully understand, maybe the long injustice on our world turn cynics to simply align with evident results in rewards, for the different degrees of betrayals we have came to accept in those we witness as life. There’s a long list of those who claims the good deeds that sour the whole baskets of apples. We are not automatically immune to sways of our morality, as the world where kindness suffice is often the world where people are receptive to trust, and open for genuine goodness in the souls of others. Too many of us are too wounded to afford the wholehearted trust that made us squeal when we see people willingly take the hand of a stranger, walking into the dark. The way the world is becoming create such unease in our hearts, and it block us from the wonder of excitement for what good may be around the corners for the reckless ones. The fine balance in between having good faith no matter how shady things may seem, and making sensible evaluation for predictable eventuality… we often have to sacrifice one for another. No wonder people don’t want to think, it’s much easier trusting someone with a title seeming fitting for the job even you have never seen or heard of them in your life before. Making a good decision involves extra researches, and double checking our own biases… again, and again. Probing is a thing that we do with our intuitions, and you get good at it, and hear a lot of where someone’s mind, and internal state may be. Arrogant people with a certain attitude and random smirks in the healthcare subject never adds up to a good psychic space where the wellbeing of public is truly the main focus.

I have learned that you cannot trust people in what they say, as we are from the sales culture, we are smart enough to know people will work out what we want to hear if the endgame is to get something that’s part of the schedule. The strategies of achieving something such as a grand scheme of one world movement with some predictive programming such as Bill Gate -”over-populated planet” would be “choked to extinction by a lung-attacking virus.” The clear duping delight in the psychopathic consistency that came across with such confidence, within a drop of breath, he tells you over and over again exactly how he plans to achieve reduction of global population with vaccine. It’s a mystery why a good sum of population didn’t realise they have just applauded for current unfolding of Gate’s papa’s lifelong eugenic mission after all the clips and researches were shown everywhere. Is it a double dissonance? Do they think by having good faith in a psychopathic billionaire trumps slightest inquisitiveness in understanding what the hypes were about? I know I though people’s jealousy of his wealth perhaps triggered a blind hatred, before I done my own research and examinations of what he’s been up to, and how he said what he said. The random chuckles, and oddly spirt of delight in his eyes in the strangest context between his words. He must be a very good actor, portraying a dangerous philanthropist. Maybe he’s actually a really kind-hearted man, blackmailed to do biddings of the overlords… acting extra peculiar, hoping people can see the crazy in his eyes and hear contradictions in his double speaks, prepare themselves, seeing one of the horsemen who symbolises the coming of apocalypse. Or, could it be that his Botox happen to be out of date on those interviews and perhaps he over expressed his expressions in the interviews. See, I am trying to do the best scenarios… and whichever I come to, it goes back to the original point. It’s not normal to giggle, and smirk about an epidemic outbreaks, no matter how certain he feels about the

exponential growth of profits comes with his vaccines.

Fried up the last bit of wild garlic, after all this rain… it will be a real trench experience when I go into the woods again. Everything green will be twice as lush as last time sun was shining. Water is so magical, and we are 70% H2O, doesn’t that make us automatically elemental? I sure am glad I have at least two pairs of wellies… but some days I miss the groundings of my grandad’s bare feet, and I contemplate the certainty of walking on earth with bare feet, and how barbaric I must appear to the civilised, especially if I was covered in mud. A part of me wants to understand if the inconvenience of being wild, is really as severe as our mind were educated it to be. The long lists of native tribes extinguished by the sophisticated, and civilised, makes you wonder what does it really mean, to evolve as mankind. Can we really use the common measure of material success to credit our developments in the world, whilst we gradually became more numb in the prices that we paid with our hearts blind, cut away the most beautiful aspect of being alive, so we can have more ambitious men& women who’ll do anything to express the wealth, and status that represents the worth shown as their reputations. These reputable estates were the first types bombarded by the red guards gathered by majority the young, which was why it’s puzzling why World Economy Forum will bring in such slogan as “ You will have nothing, and your will be happy” in pungent hints of communist comradery, that seem to be such unlikely trait from a group of business tycoons that are so rich, that they can even evading the taxes legally… it doesn’t take a genius to figure something isn’t right here. But the twist is, do they even know they’ve set themselves a perfect trap that could end everything they thought they could keep to themselves whist acquiring assets from others… as the idea their charitable ideas can be misunderstood is slim if not next to zero, because no one buys the gesture; unless those who were educated to believe it means what it stands for, so they can get the marks. How many of those were our children when they were brought up by asking google everything?

Are they trying to recreate a Mao movement in the west, and how many of their business associates/ investors know they may eventually be prosecuted by the mobs for their excessive wealth if the movement was successful? Do rich people have a special kind of naivety that makes their decisions appear to be so evil, but they don’t know what they stand for from the outside, even to their own detriment? Perhaps it was just a way of gathering sum on something that sound like good for all movement, a business front that have a few changes here and there, make the manifestos sound like selfless acts of those who won’t pay tax… or maybe we have became cynical, even the good deeds of those who have had a good life seem so surreal, we rather eat grass than imaging our having nothing make us any happier… it such a kind of special odd, you have to be tipple dissonant and slightly, lets say it… stupid, to take their words for what it is. It’s a hard bargain any 5 years old would refuse. “Hey! Fancy give me your genetic blueprint and total autonomy, and I will make sure you have nothing, and be happy??” Never mind the small print that you will go under human industrialisation as well as be ready to die by 50 was it? Do you think they really care about you, and the planet… maybe the planet, but you? After you’re revamped with biotechnologies, and completely wired up to the clouds, perhaps. Is it that much of a surprise what mindsets like this are not in the fiction books? We have watched enough Hollywood red carpet events to see just how unimportant it is to be real in certain mentalities right? We have bought into the artificial simulations of success for so long, a real scandal in front of us look like a fabulous movie we will buy a ticket for as long as the advertisements were well done. This time, your ticket may just well be your vaccine passport. To join the crowd of aimlessly, and glamorously rich who spend all day pretending to be something they’re desired as closely to godhood as human can be; absolutely loved being worshiped for the characters they were given to play; to bid your health, your wellbeing, your future on these characters is about as responsible as gambling in Vegas.

Perhaps the world is too complicated for a simpleton like me to make a sense of, perhaps there is beauty and balance in the making of chaos and all those who were moths to flames. Perhaps Hollywood officially took on the Whitehouse as their production since people lost interests in the celebrities when they found out they can find far more interesting entertainers that don’t need any scripts? Maybe this was the desperate come back of the industry in every trick possible… persuasively sold you out to anther household necessity, biotech vaccine made by Artificial intelligence, to aid your having nothing, and be happy moments… or else, be part of the over population. I want to understand what the appeal is to those who didn’t seem to be bothered by this concept. I think those who truly done the research instead of just throwing names at others repeating the very nanoluminescent scene in their brains… knows the whole picture is not that beautiful. Those who are absolutely ignorant, and have no interest of knowing… would be the most blissful fools I want to be right now, and I argue with myself for the horror stories I trade for their precaution… you know, the good old shrug and walk off with your conscience completely intact, or the dreadful nags at those who won’t think for themselves in exchange for a I’ve done my best sigh… perhaps, we can ask a hypothetical question first;

“ if you and your loved ones might lose everything, including the original blueprint of your DNA tomorrow… would you like to know, and figure if you have a choice in the human right it involves, or would you rather live today, and deal with it once the happening became a done deal? “

Being open to both answers and know that we are in a bit of both worlds. I do see a lot of responsible investors of the future in the crowds and civil servants carried out about the protests. The ego of us vs them thing is weaning, and the common interests of all decent simple folks are showing through the movements of gathering rivers. Will the fear of virus and death wear itself out as people realise that vaccinated individuals are far more likely the carriers of new strands than the unvaccinated? Providing that scientists used live virus to carry nanotech, it’s scientific math, pure and simple; unless the biology we were taught in school had been lies to start with. As the censorships are turning the world stupid, that perhaps soon the factcheckers will have to start their own silicon-”village” with those who are now also intellectual bearers of their own isolated insanity. I guess another horrific thought would be, if the medical norm now is to follow, whatever manual and instruction you were given… maybe have nothing, and be happy will be a good slogan for us hypochondriacs. Proceed to steal it from WEF and patch it on our foreheads. Waiting on them to give up everything, and join the public to inspire a truly evolved society.

I am tired from rambling marmalade all day… and ready to retire from my brand of insanity.

blahh.. 3 May 2021



When the wind blows ~ Soar.

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